Bachelor NZ: Into the snake pit

Vanessa, who along with two others invaded the Bachelor NZ tonight.

Just as you were wondering why these girls were sticking around competing for some guy in a misogynist TV show they are sent to Thailand.

You might not get a man, but you’ll get  a holiday!

Lily gets promoted to business class with Zac as a single date; money must have been getting tight as the rest of the girls chill in economy.

To be fair though, who wouldn’t want to sit next to Lily in a plane, lols for days.

“I feel like the pimp,” says Lily.

Hannah wins the first group date in Thailand, which involves going quad biking, and seeing elephants. Hannah hangs on like a baby koala, and they bond over sport. I can imagine their kids would be the one that wins every race at athletics while you struggle to finish the 100m sprint. Or 100 metre jog in my case.

Someone forgot the roses, so Hannah gets a pink flower. AND THEY KISS. Hannah giggles and Zac pours more beer. Claudia who?

Lucia says she doesn’t know if she’s ready to settle down, which kind of defeats the whole purpose of the show.

They ask Hannah about her date, then all look like they’re going to cry as she talks about it. I honestly don’t know why they ask.

Molly tries to justify the kisses – whether it was the kind of kiss you give your dog, or your grandma, or a full on make-out and I’m not sure where she’s going with it, and I don’t think she knows either.

Group date twist – as if the GDC wasn’t enough there are three new bachelorette wannabees arriving. It honestly just feels like they’re trying to drag out the show even longer.

The newbies are Carina, who Zac describes as “dream girl beautiful”, Sarah, with the “beautiful smile” and  Vanessa who looks “really beautiful.”

He thinks they’re beautiful, if you didn’t get it by now.

Zac talks about the new girls, like getting a heap of new cars. Lets just take a moment to clarify that girls aren’t a material object which you can own.

We learn Zac can’t Manu, and Sarah gets a rose.  ~Chemistry~

Vanessa seems to be scared of fish. I don’t hold a lot of hope for her in this show. She’s been married before, and you can literally see alarm bells going off in Zac’s head.

Carina studies law at uni – impressive, but not enough to get a rose.

As girls are waiting for Zac to turn up for their group date, the three new girls turn up instead. 

Zac is about to walk into a snake pit. The girls conclude that this plot twist feels like Zac’s cheating on them with three other girls.

“What about your other wives?” Ally says.

Bel is the most shaken up. She swears and it’s like hearing your friendly Christian aunt swear.

The rose ceremony comes and Lucia goes.

At least she can be with Katey now.

Turns out Thailand wasn’t such a holiday.

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